These last few months have been quite...uneventful. I know my body is changing, but I feel as if other people can see it more than me. That's understandable; they see me less often than I see me in the mirror, so they're gonna notice the changes better than I do.
The scale doesn't move as quickly as I expected it to. I'm not complaining! The scale will do what it does, and the only thing that matters is how I feel. I weigh 85 pounds less than I did when I started on the path to surgery 2 years ago this month. I've lost 60 lbs since surgery. The benefit of a steady loss is that my body isn't covered in sharpei flesh. I've been exercising regularly to keep up that muscle tone. It's my hope that I won't have to resort to plastic surgery to remove arm and thigh flab. I would ONLY do that if there was an issue with chafing or discomfort, not because of appearance.
It's only now - in my 5th month post-op - that I've run out of the "skinny clothes" that I kept in my closet. I shouldn't say I've run out of them - they fit perfectly (=snugly), but I realize the styles are completely outdated. Right now I prefer ultra-dark denim, and my old skinny jeans are a little pale for my liking. Plus the cut is so 5 years ago, so "I'm 23 and livin' life!"
I have to be cautious in my purchase of new pants. As Sir Mix-a-Lot would say, my waist is small and my curves are kickin' - as a result, most pants fit me perfectly on the hips, but I got about 6 inches of excess fabric around the waist. (I'll post a tasteful pic of this phenomenon later to demonstrate.) So, I either need to get a belt or a good tailor. Problem is, last time I took pants to a tailor, it ran me $50/piece to take in and hem, etc. That's a lot of cash, girl!
I could just wear dresses and leggings for the rest of the summer, but leggings don't always look professional. Last time I wore them to work, I felt underdressed even though the women I work with wear them all the time. Maybe I just feel underdressed because something fits. In that case, I'll have to get over that and wurq my look.
I'm also small up top. Not boobwise, thank God, but rather I'm a 16 up top and a 20-22 on bottom. Lane Bryant shirts are starting to look too big on me, which is bittersweet; I love their shirts, and I find that other stores' shirts are too small/tight/short on me.
In short, I'm reaching the frustrating size phase of weight loss. It's not a bad place to be in, but still a nuisance.
In two weeks I'm going to go on a little shopping spree. I will shop at places other than Lane Bryant and see how their clothes fit. I will get pants that fit. Maybe some dresses. A belt. Get my haircut and colored. I'm going to do something positive to make this weight loss feel real(er) to me.
So there's that,
Laura
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